Overalls

Ever since I turned twenty I have worn overalls on my birthday. I decided that I must choose to stay a kiddo and really the only way to do that is by living like everyday is the best day ever and everything is the best present ever. An ‘awe' lifestyle.

I moved to Vermont a couple days ago. Driving eight hours from my cabin at the tip top of Maine, to a studio apartment on the western edge of Vermont. Every part of the US is so vastly different. The culture changes in each place, causing growing pains. It’s something I don’t think I will ever get used to and I hope I don’t, as uncomfortable as it can be sometimes. I can fit everything I own into my car, including my dog. It’s something interesting to drive to a new place carrying everything with you. A claustrophobic sensation if it’s looked at too closely, but a spacious and freeing one from afar. Adjusting to a new place is exhausting. A new hospital, with new staff and a new culture, an entirely different system, patients, etc. from a place you were at. Yet, it is entirely thrilling. The opportunity for change and newness is so fun.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m in the ‘right’ profession. And I’m wondering this a lot right now as I feel vastly incapable to care for the population that I’ve been assigned to. A retired nurse from St. Paul, Minnesota was talking to me at the dog park today. She told me that the way I present myself was one of complete confidence, even while sharing how drastically small I feel to care for these patients. It made me realize that the way you hold yourself and respond to situations, especially those of stress and change, is quite a testament to one’s character. I’ve always been this way: entirely trusting, wildly friendly, completely confident. So whether or not I’m in the ‘right’ profession, I do know that discovery is something I will always, always love. And people are something I will always, always want to know. No matter where I am. The soggy and jumbled sensations of a heart are evidence of a living human soul.