soft humans

It’s bizarre to me that the same mind that has the capacity to create sadness also exists to create joy. And yet people profit off others’ emotions.

The restlessness that comes with a shift in momentum feels almost detrimental to who I am and the stability I find in instability. I have coffee shops in every place i live, which makes me wildly excited about new things in life, until I feel the pinch to hunt down a new one, where I’ve never been seen before.

Sometimes my mind feels very unsafe. It’s not always a comforting place, somewhere I want to return to to snuggle up and be sung lullabies. I want to create a place like that inside myself, one that’s full of fluffy blankets, dangly plants, and hot herbal tea. We tend to risk ourselves for beautiful things. And live in a culture where the destruction of something is the regeneration of something new. Why can’t creation exist on it’s own? Birthed out of pure, untampered inspiration.

Humans like consuming soft things. Things that make them feel warm and fuzzy, like a fresh puppy or baby, the gentle, wrinkled touch from the hand of a grandparent, soft snuggles under starry nights and warm blankets. While in the same moment vulnerability and honesty is welcomed, it is labeled as weakness. I heard someone say something the other day, without context, bear in mind, but it really upset me. “People are so emotional these days, I feel like everyone has grown soft, and it is rare to meet someone with any kind of backbone.” It sent a fire through my core, angering me instantly, forcing my energy back into my chest and my lips to close as the temptation to rebuke and argue and counter this comment burbled in my chest.

I believe the ability to be gentle holds great value. And there is so much strength in humans’ ability to be soft. As a person who has stifled and slowed some yucky, deeply painful emotions in order to save face of being “strong”, I have not felt more so than when I am able to let the emotions gently ride through my being, to feel them, to let them be, to not argue or rationalize my way out of them. And I have watched friends struggle, their faces contorted with heartbreak and never once has it crossed my mind that to feel and express is soft, in any way, and if it is, than bring it on. The authenticity of being unapologetically you, in every moment, is utterly lovely and inarguably courageous.