Pretty girl

I’m unsure why these two words are so offensive yet so silencing at the same time.  A whispered ‘thank you’ and pink cheeked response. Is it the combination of the two side by side? Would pretty woman, pretty lady make a difference?  Something that used to be so complimenting--or perhaps this is falsified information and never has been--is now so derogatory, so degrading. And I feel instantly cornered, instantly small, instantly summed by two words that aren’t at all who I am neither are they who I want to be.  Two words that so often lead to pants-less circumstances.

Neither will I say that compliments are a bad thing.  Obviously being told one looks nice or beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, handsome, lovely, is an amazing thing to hear.  But ‘pretty girl’? No, thank you. A pretty girl bleaches everything someone already is and everything they are striving to be.  It makes me picture a framed woman, one that has to wear pretty pink lipstick at all times, not by her own desire. One that must have every hair in place. A perfectly plucked woman.  A woman who is praised for holding her tongue, speaking when she is spoken to. A woman who lets others pick up the pieces, the work, her life. A hand-crafted woman. A girl. An immature, pretty girl.