I love everything about coffee. I love the smell, the warmth, the taste, the alone time, the social time.

I took a pottery class a couple years ago with a friend of mine. Making something with my hands is one of my favorite things. Simply holding and smooshing the clay was enough for me. It felt so good to mold. In those moments I feel like someone who has an endless attention span. My sister made me a mug in her ceramics class in high school. It’s small and thick and pieces are lumpy and clumpy throughout but that’s what makes it perfect for me. The imperfections. And then pouring something bitter and rich and full of content into that mug, curling on top of a mountain in a blanket you bought in Mexico, is the best, best feeling. Many of my favorite memories include coffee. Seems to make the air more full.

A lot of patients ask for coffee throughout the night. We wake them up so often, it doesn't make sense for some to try and keep sleeping. I like these times. It’s such a pleasure for me to make them coffee, as though I’m presenting an offering of a good day. People ask me often if I like working night shift. Yes and no. My favorite, favorite thing about night shift is the intimacy. Most often patient’s pain is worse during the night; there are less distractions, it’s dark, they’re alone with their thoughts and their pain. A lot of really powerful moments with patients have taken place at two am. I have sat at patients’ bedsides and listened as they told me their troubles and their triumphs. As I help them breathe through pain and panic. As I hold their hand while they cry. And then I bring them coffee and they tell me stories of warmth.