Betting on racehorses

I’ve never understood gambling. I’ve never been to a casino or a horse race. It doesn't make sense to me to gamble money on external factors. But if I were to bet on something, I’d put my money on human souls. The goodness of humanity. I’d bet on it any day of the week. Taking into account that not everyone is good and no one is all bad. But I’ve learned too much about human creation to not take a chance on it. To choose to be trapped and isolated, to declare oneself as above human connection, is so heavily sad for me.

I met this guy who just moved here, same as me. He lives out of his converted van for a chunk of time close to where I am. We went camping Labor Day weekend. I told him ‘I’m trusting you to be nice enough that you won’t murder me in the woods’, and he said, ‘same’. I missed being around people, talking or not talking, laughing, spending time with humans who love life and live it well. This man loves life and lives it well.

In Israel we had a lot of moments where we were told not to speak to someone or make eye contact of any sort. I always struggle with this. My reflex is to ask someone how their day is, to look them in the eyes and choose to see them. It hurts to be told not to do this, while entirely grasped, it doesn't make the idea any less easy for my string-desired heart. But I have learned with time, that the ones who need it most will gaze at you for near seconds to moments through eyelashes, watching and wondering if you’ll gaze back.