I was driving in Burlington & saw a sign that said “food & stuff” outside a corner market. It made me smile. It is not difficult to make me happy. Hell, this sign made me happy and I am still thinking about it weeks later. Here’s the issue with people who are easily joyful and rarely disappointed: often times what they want doesn’t end up mattering. “Oh she’ll be fine, she always is”. And it’s true, you are. But that doesn’t mean that easy-going people don’t want some things occasionally too. And it definitely doesn’t mean that their happiness is of lesser value just because it comes around more often.

I am the oldest of two siblings with mental health issues. I cannot tell you how hard that is for me to watch. And I cannot tell you how hard it has been for me to grow up with my needs being the last to matter. It is rather difficult for me to even bring up, making me feel all sorts of selfish and cruel. I know my siblings haven’t had it easy throughout their lives, making me more inclined in seeking their happiness more often than my own. It’s something no one knows how to handle. Especially me.

I want to be wanted. I think most humans do, in some way or another. I want to heard, especially the things I desire, I want others to desire them too. Understanding can’t be forced, it can’t even be explained. And situations become one’s own.